Thursday, November 28, 2013

And I think it's gonna rain.

There will be times when you wake up bundled in covers. There will be times when you wake up to the bright welcoming light of a new day. There will be times when the cold wont prevail and sunshine will always cast away the coldness and revive a shivering world. Today coldness won, the sunlight wasn't enough to prevent the windows from being shut and the sky to remain grey, today there were many hands rubbed to prevent the piercing cold from getting into them. Today there were many more steamy mugs than there usually are. A world fought to stay warm. Today was also the near ending of a month, and also the soon to come ending of a year. Lights streamed along window arches and golden decorations were hung on humble homes, and no its not Christmas yet, its only one of those days, you know the kind that seems to last longer than others, the kind were there's enough time to stop and think, and although I might often have these kind of days, today was definitely one of them. I didn't know I was going to be where I was today, nor I did know I was going to be who I was today. The sky though, I knew it was going to be grey today, I heard, someone on the television said it. Today I don'tknow what tomorrow is, where it is, but thanks to today I think I know who I will be. Never have a trusted wishful thinking, but I might give it a try, because today has taught me to do so. Tomorrow I dare to think better things, just let me tell you that for me the coldness is a good thing. Tomorrow, I hope I wake up to a mug filled with some sweet substance, to make my bones spark back to comfort when I leave my bed. Tomorrow, I hope I am home. Tomorrow, I hope there can be birds who defy the weather and sing around my yard, I hope that there will be friends around me. Tomorrow, everything will be different than today in all the ways my wishful thinking hopes so. Tomorrow will be better than many todays and yesterdays, not because they have all been bad but because tomorrows always come, and Im giving in to wishful hoping, and I want tomorrows to be better than todays and yesterdays. So I dare, even if my gut tells me not to do so, hope that tomorrow its gonna be better, in a different place and different coldness and different people. I think tomorrow the sky will be grey, there might not be birds around to sing, there won't be anyone around, there will be enough warm drinks, the air outside will not beat the warmness inside, there will be breathing, living, moving, planning more tomorrows, outside its gonna be a beautiful tone of grey and I think it's gonna rain.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Words like heavy rain.

I’m back and somehow late to blog, it’s always just a refreshing feeling to sit and let my mind be poured on through my fingers to this unique way of "writing". I do beleive this does better good to me as to what I try to "write"(type if I properly say), than to the readers, if by any chance there's any, for I know how complicated it all can seem to be read or understood. Its all part of a , what should I call it?... way of expression that Ive come to find appealing. Today for instance I feel moved by several things for the current act of typing, like the summer breeze that’s hitting my window, the silent house in which my sleepless eyes are currently found at, and happiness in several forms of being. Please stop if by any chance you feel like this is ridiculous or senseless to exceeding levels, as I said before it is not my intention to have you read this and understand it, (but if you do, great) it’s just I need to type kind of like when clouds can’t hold any more rain and its poured out over and you end up having water sprayed through the windows from the abundant rain and wind. As I said the breeze, familiar yet so unknown, I craved for this moment, longed for the feeling of freedom that you can only get when after the end of hot, sweaty day the rain brings in a so inspiriting breeze, and all that you waited feels worth it, and all the you cared for is there, but sometimes that’s not the case, that breeze is just cold air or dry wind, that rain has just let the earth damp, and you feel like you've waited for nothing. Then there’s the silence, a piercing silence, and believe me when I say that silence is the loudest sound there is, it can hurt your ears in greater proportions than anything you can or could’ve thought of,(figuratively speaking of course) and the worst part is you can't silence the silent. Then there's happiness in so many fortunate ways of being , coming as the blessings that I never deserved, the prices that were never earned and joys that are so definitely not my gain. For these latter it is that I am now awake knowing that while the airs breathe different hopes, and the silence pierce through empty words and the world has come to change God is unbeatable, unchangeable and above all beyond merciful and that when I seek for the dark places He'll be there to pull me out, that when I give all the I kept He'll be glad to fill me again. And when I walk upon a changing to world of deep delusion, I can know that I was given life, undeservedly He gave me life then that’s all that matters.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Copan Rooftops

There's little places in the world that steal your heart, there's little times in life that happen so sudden and so unexpected that, truly do nothing else than captivate you, right now I'm living both. I'm sitting under the cloudy sky over the rooftops of Copan, how amazing it is to think I never expected to be here or even imagined it yet it has been perhaps the most amazing week and experience in a while. Im unprepared to leave this and go back to school and all the worries and loads it'll bring but God has been faithful and he has provided a much needed getaway. Tonight these rooftops make me not think of school rooms, books and teaching boards and all these colorful dimly light streets make me forget about everything else so easily. I'm glad God works things the ways he does, tonight more than anytime I'm thankful that I'm not doing whatever I planned on doing. It feels so right to be doing something unexpected and unplanned. Well I guess now its about going back to routines and books and all the things where life is called ordinary, but I'm thankful, I have lived one very extraordinary week, it's all good, God is good. Goodbye, Copan, goodbye Easter break, you have been so unexpectedly captivating.